Reflections 43 to 56
43/ Inwards not Outwards
7th December 2024
“Once you carry your own water, you will learn the value of every drop.” African Proverb.
Join your own efforts to the power that cannot fail and must result in peace. No one can be untouched by teaching such as this. (ACIM, T-14.V.7:1-2)
***
Lesson 43. God is my Source. I cannot see apart from Him. Yesterday. The theme of the lesson was about God being our strength and vision being His gift, paving the way for today’s lesson. My first early morning practice was completed with a sense of ease… my second formal practice was after a glass of wine for supper and I could feel how it took the edge off my concentration… during the day, it started well then became more of an effort as the day went on. I am trying not to judge my efforts. Today. The first of my four practices has just finished and I felt the affirmations related to the exercise arise without any effort. I was amazed at how many did come, and quite effortlessly, and this was despite the bank of clouds that were my thoughts.
In quietness are all things answered, and is every problem quietly resolved. In conflict there can be no answer and no resolution, for its purpose is to make no resolution possible, and to ensure no answer will be plain. (ACIM, T-27.IV.1:1-2)
A Course in Miracles tells us that it is only within the holy instant that our own personal answer can ever be found. Every answer that the world provides is really just a smokescreen.
The holy instant might be summed up as being the interval in which the question is asked and the reply is received. And it’s always a response that we wouldn’t have expected.
To find the holy instant, though, we have to drop into the silence and allow the stillness to simply be. We are so used to dwelling on the future and brooding on the past that the nowness of now just evaporates. We have lost our Source.
It’s in the holy instant that we find the miracle. It is the miracle that lights up the mind that thought it was dark, as all minds are lit up since there is only the one mind. Changes happen that we could never have dreamt of.
And the holy instant also answers our one big question - about what it is to awaken. We are told that we just have to drop inwards, not outwards, because the answer can only be here.
44/ Mind Is One
8th December 2024
“The fundamental delusion of humanity is to suppose that I am here and you are out there.” Hakuun Yasutani.
Because I am always with you, you are the way, the truth and the life. (ACIM, T-7.III.1:9)
***
Lesson 44. God is the light in which I see. Yesterday. During the day, the lead up to Christmas began to feel overwhelming, with all the hidden anxieties it holds for me. In the evening, I had what might be called a bit of an ‘ego attack’. I tried to stay with my emotions as it was happening and even whispered a little prayer. And then it was over, but I can still feel the residue as I write this the following morning. Today. I did encounter resistance while doing the exercise just a few minutes ago, and this meant a weight in my chest and a few recurring thoughts that I couldn’t do what was being asked of me. And this is the paradox. The ego tells us that dropping into the light is a descent into hell; the Holy Spirit knows it as our release from hell.
Problems are not specific but they take specific forms, and these specific shapes make up the world. And no one understands the nature of his problem. If he did, it would be there no more for him to see. (ACIM, T-27.V.8:1-3)
A Course in Miracles tells us that all problems are the same, despite their different forms. There is always one problem and one solution.
Within us all is a guilt that is so strong we have to project it outwards. We need someone else to be the cause of our guilt; and it is always the world that is the cause of our problems.
Forgiveness is the simple process whereby we sit still and quietly refuse to believe this. This is so contrary to what the split mind would do that it actually involves a complete change of mind.
And what is the mind? The mind is outside of time and space. The mind is not the brain and has nothing to do with the body. The mind either belongs to God or it is ruled by the ego (and anything apart from God is a complete fantasy). The mind either knows light or makes its own darkness.
The purpose, therefore, of applying ourselves to the Workbook is to change our minds - and, here, the plural of ‘mind’ is used very loosely. The mind is one, and we are One, which means that the point of sitting quietly is simply to confirm to our own innate stillness that we know it is right.
9th December 2024
“He who lives in harmony with himself lives in harmony with the universe.” Marcus Aurelius.
You are one Self, in perfect harmony with all there is, and all that there will be. (ACIM, W-95.13:1)
***
Lesson 45. God is the Mind with which I think. Yesterday. I did an extra couple of practices because the lesson suggested that we should do more. It makes sense. God has to be everywhere and, to fully understand this, practice makes perfect. It is up to us to find the present moment. Today. The goal of this lesson is to reach the Foundation of Thought. These are the real thoughts that we think with God and has nothing to do with the imaginary thoughts that we think with the ego - both the good and the bad. I did get to a quietish place during my first practice just a few minutes ago but random thoughts were always arising to distract me.
The “reasoning” by which the world is made, on which it rests, by which it is maintained, is simply this: “You are the cause of what I do. Your presence justifies my wrath, and you exist and think apart from me. While you attack I must be innocent. And what I suffer from is your attack.” (ACIM, T-27.VII.3:1-4)
A Course in Miracles tells us that the body is the central figure in the dreaming of the world. There is no dream without it, and neither can the body exist without the dream (ACIM, T-27.VIII.1:1-2).
This means that we are the dream. This body, with all its perfections and imperfections, is just a bundle of useless thoughts. We are dreaming it.
Everything around us - all that we meet and all that we think about - is just imagined. We tend to take it very seriously but the whole point of practising the Workbook is to make it un-serious.
Our internal guilt is the cause of this seriousness. Guilt began in an instant and it ends in an instant. When we wake up from our hideous nightmare, the mind won’t know what all the fuss is about.
To make this happen, we need the Holy Spirit’s help. It is impossible to undo all of our guilt alone.
We need to go into the hidden depths of our unconscious and find a light. The lessons of the Workbook direct us towards it. Then, as it becomes more familiar, the light will guide us back to our home.
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10th December 2024
“Release from fear, worry, and doubt leaves us free to function normally, healthfully, and confidently.” Joel S. Goldsmith.
When everything you retain is lovable, there is no reason for fear to remain with you. This is your part in the Atonement. (ACIM, T-2.VIII.5:10-11)
***
Lesson 46. God is the Love in which I forgive. Yesterday. I felt compelled to do five six-minute practices during the day instead of the three that was advised. I also found it quite easy to hold the idea in my mind for large parts of the day because I usually have to refer to my notes. I suppose I liked the concept of being held by a divine mind. Today. Suddenly, there seemed to be quite a lot of information to remember as I did my first practice. However, the message is simple. There is nothing to forgive because how can we forgive a dream?
A Course in Miracles tells us that the miracle does nothing (ACIM, T-28.I.1:1). All it does is undo.
It shows us that the world was over long ago and all the miracle does is prove that the past is gone. Currently, we are re-living a cause and feeling it’s effects.
The lesson today tells us that God has no need to forgive because He has never condemned. Only fear condemns and only love can accept; one is based on an historical past and the other is closer to us than our own breath. Everything is always happening exactly now, even if we think it isn’t.
The effect of the cause (a decision to be apart from God) is why we live in a world of illusions, and these illusions are entirely made up by our own thought. Thought acts like a veil that hides the truth.
And judgement (our fearful state) loves to live in such a state. If we had a peaceful mind, judgement would disappear. Peace enables us to make perfect decisions, and it is this that allows the miracle.
All we have to do is to let ourselves to be gently led by our own intuition (the Holy Spirit), and only this method of communication can ever bring us peace.
The miracle comes quietly into the mind that stops an instant and is still. (ACIM, T-28.I.11:1)
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47/ Compulsive Thought
11th December 2024
“What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me.” Helen Keller.
There is only one way out of the world’s thinking, just as there was only one way into it. (ACIM, T-7.VII.10:9)
***
Lesson 47. God is the strength in which I trust. Yesterday. I did another couple of extra practices yesterday but, in a way, they all seemed quite mechanical. One was during a break while on a gardening job. I was sitting on a bank with a cup of tea, an icy wind was blowing, and I was partially aware that the owner of the house might suddenly appear to check up on me. Occasionally I would open my eyes, which meant that guilt was definitely at play. Today. I became quiet for my first practice, but still with a hazy background of thought. My phone seems not to be working and so I couldn’t use the timer, and I was also trying not to think about a whole list of things to do. This exercise, then, seems to be a perfect foil for the pressure I put on this self I call ‘me’.
This world is full of miracles. They stand in shining silence next to every dream of pain and suffering, of sin and guilt. They are the dream’s alternative, the choice to be the dreamer, rather than deny the active role in making up the dream. (ACIM, T-28.II.12:1-3)
We are collectively the dreamer of the dream, not a figure in a dream.
Our thoughts determine the world we see. Our thoughts determine the type of dream we have, which is either a happy dream or an unhappy dream.
The miracle always changes the dream to one of joy. However, the miracle can never awaken us from the dream.
If we could only get beyond our compulsive thinking, we would find a sense of peace so great that even our ‘biggest’ problem would seem trivial. This peace is found within the stillness of the mind.
And it is the miracle that changes the world that we see. From a world of loss, where forms wither and die, it is transformed into a world of limitless abundance. Here, everything is seen with light.
The miracle therefore sets us free. It undoes compulsive thinking and shows us a life that always is.
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48/ Cradled by Love
12th December 2024
“When we resist change, we call it suffering.” Pema Chödrön.
Errors of any kind can be corrected because they are untrue. When brought to truth instead of to each other, they merely disappear. (ACIM, T-23.II.3:4-5)
***
Lesson 48. There is nothing to fear. Yesterday. I planned to practice as and when it occurred to me and so, as I was driving the car, I parked at the side of the road and took five minutes to do just that; it was the same later as I paused for a few minutes while out for a walk. My only purpose was to allow the thoughts to come and go and try to sink beneath them, and it always felt organic and helpful. Today. The lesson is simple. We are just being asked to repeat “there is nothing to fear”. I know in my heart that this is theoretically true. However, even now, I feel in my belly that I will slip up and this is clearly the familiar voice of the ego.
The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite. (ACIM, T-in.1:8)
A Course in Miracles is all about love. It tells us that love is all there is. God is Love and we are His Son. There is nothing else.
What we have to learn is that we are wrong and truth is right. Nothing happens outside of the mind. It is impossible to think our way out of thinking but, instead, we need the Holy Spirit’s help to go beyond our thinking.
What the near-death experience shows us is that we are not the body, and death is just a myth that never really happens at all. The body stays and the spirit continues, and the mind doesn’t ever change at all.
The mind just carries on from where it left off. Nothing stops and love just cradles us as we are.
Karen Thomas’ near-death experience proves that only love exists and that life is perfect on the other side. She says that the clarity of her experience is still as vivid today as it was back in 1982. Perfection never needs any embellishment and it’s hard to forget the facts of where we truly belong.
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49/ Puff of Wind
13th December 2024
“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” Omar Khayyam.
Begin to practice the Holy Spirit’s use of time as a teaching aid to happiness and peace. Take this very instant, now, and think of it as all there is of time. (ACIM, T-15.I.9:4-5)
***
Lesson 49. God’s Voice speaks to me all through the day. Yesterday. The idea was to repeat “there is nothing to fear” throughout the day. I tried, although there were times when I also forgot. The point is, it is easy to practise the lesson when there is something to fear, but it is also easy to forget when life feels good. Today. This lesson proves that, beneath all the raucous shrieking of the ego, there is the Voice for God. This is the Holy Spirit and I am not sure I even got close to it during my first practice a few minutes ago. All I heard was an irritable voice that wasn’t quiet at all, bringing with it a certain anxiety.
When you accept a miracle, you do not add your dream of fear to one that is already being dreamed. Without support, the dream will fade away without effects. For it is your support that strengthens it. (ACIM, T-28.III.1:6-8)
The dream of fear rumbles on, until we withdraw its source. When we place less emphasis on the demands of the ego, then it is certain that the mind will always hear the Voice for God.
The ego won’t ever depart quietly. It will continue to appear in different guises until we see it for what it is, and this is no more than just a tiny puff of wind.
A Course in Miracles states that there is a little gap between ourselves and our brothers. This is where the puff of wind operates. If the mind becomes still enough, then the gap has to disappear and the puff of wind just evaporates. It can’t exist outside of time.
The Workbook leads us past all the travails the puff of wind dreams up for us. It might tempt us with moments of peace, as well as giving us the full vent of its fury. However, what we have forgotten is that a mind without the ego is peaceful all of the time.
If the mind becomes still, then the puff of wind can’t operate. It disappears into the ether because it has no momentum in which to operate. And this is the purpose of practising today’s lesson. It is to show us that the puff of wind does not exist.
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50/ Face of Adversity
14th December 2024
“What is not started today is never finished tomorrow.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
You do not ask too much of life, but far too little. (ACIM, W-133.2:1)
***
Lesson 50. I am sustained by the Love of God. Yesterday. I found it reassuring to practise a lesson in which I am told that God’s Voice is speaking to me all through the day. I liked repeating it and didn’t really forget it. I found it uplifting, and it was also a verification as to why I am doing this course. Today. This was another lesson I enjoyed practising for my first ten-minute practice period. I began by feeling a little distracted but, as I got into it, the distractions slowly began to disappear. I was able to complete the practice with a sense of ease, feeling both sustained and optimistic.
How holy is the smallest grain of sand, when it is recognized as being part of the completed picture of God’s Son! The forms the broken pieces seem to take mean nothing. For the whole is in each one. And every aspect of the Son of God is just the same as every other part. (ACIM, T-28.IV.9:4-7)
We have to go beyond our physical reality to really understand what A Course in Miracles is teaching us. It has nothing to do with form and everything to do with the formless.
It is the silent stillness within our minds - which is always there - that has to be our focus. This is the Holy Spirit. However, when our worlds get turned upside down and everything collapses around us - when all our defences are torn away - it’s impossible to bring the light to the darkness. We have to bring the darkness to the light.
Passing through the eye of a needle means we leave everything behind. All our identity - everything that makes up this form that we see in the mirror - is all forgotten. We return to the formless state from which we came.
To do this, we have to go through the dark night of the soul. This means being fully present with our deepest terror - and this is the fear of God. We have to laugh in the face of adversity.
We have to bring the darkness to the light. This is the only purpose of applying ourselves to the Workbook and, while it seems as if it is the most difficult thing in the world, it is also the easiest. Quite simply, there is no adversity because there is no world.
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51/ Infinite Love
15th December 2024
“The rose does best as a rose. Lilies make the best lilies. And look! You - the best you around!” Rumi.
But love yourself with the Love of Christ, for so does your Father love you. (ACIM, T-11.IV.6:4)
***
Lesson 51. Review of lessons 1-5. Yesterday. It wasn’t a problem finding the time for the two ten-minute practices. I did the first one in the morning and, since we were going out in the evening, I practised the second just before we left (but was interrupted a minute before the end). This meant I did a third after we came back. Telling myself that I am sustained by the Love of God was affirming. It brings light to the darkness of winter. Today. This review establishes a different way of approaching the lessons. Since it might be difficult to carry the big blue book around all day, I have written down the key points. I will see how it goes.
Either there is a gap between you and your brother, or you are as one. There is no in between, no other choice, and no allegiance to be split between the two. (ACIM, T-28.VII.3:1-2)
Really, in any situation in which we find ourselves, we just have to ask the simple question: “What would God do now?”
The Love of Christ, as mentioned above, is God’s Love. It is only known now. God sees His Son as perfect and we, as His Son, can only know God’s Love in the present moment.
Bodies, which are also alluded to above, cannot love. It is impossible. Firstly, they arise out of fear; and secondly, bodies are ultimately just a projection of the mind.
Our nemesis, as a body, is judgement. It withholds love because God doesn’t judge at all. God just knows our perfect wholeness and, through this knowing, love just extends and extends.
We are all infinitely loved, as one, by God. And this is what A Course in Miracles brings us back to. It invites us to practise the Workbook in order to change our perception from one of misperception to one of total truth.
Infinite love is the only love there is. This is how God knows us and this is how we need to know ourselves.
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52/ Path to Perfection
16th December 2024
“Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tyre?” Corrie ten Boom.
The prayer for forgiveness is nothing more than a request that you may be able to recognize what you already have. (ACIM, T-3.V.6:5)
***
Lesson 52. Review of lessons 6-10. Yesterday. The review asked us to look at each lesson at least once. The day started well but then I decided to get stuck in with cutting back a hedge in the garden. This took longer than anticipated and I had to rush to get multiple loads of green waste to the tip. I felt guilty about the lessons, I felt guilty about rushing but I was also both happy and relieved about a job well done. Today. Have just practised the first lesson - “I am upset because I see what is not there”. I had a real sense that only my thoughts were blocking perfect peace. Perfect peace always arises as the mind merges with the sky beyond the clouds.
The lessons being reviewed today sum up everything that A Course in Miracles stands for. It tells us that God is never absent. We are just dreaming that we have separated from God. For example:
- We see only the past. All we have to do is to forgive and remember what we are.
We are totally preoccupied with past thoughts. Absolute presence can’t dawn in our minds.
We see nothing as it is now. The choice we need to make is whether we want perfect vision.
Our thoughts do not mean anything; likewise with our identity. It is all a total fabrication.
If we fully understood any of the above, study would be needless. The mind is awake to reality.
For the time being, though, we are on a path to perfection. Progress means we start to dream about love and, as the words tell us below, it also means that God need not be feared.
There is no time, no place, no state where God is absent. There is nothing to be feared. There is no way in which a gap could be conceived of in the Wholeness that is His. (ACIM, T-29.I.1:1-3)
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53/ Being at Peace
17th December 2024
“There’s small choice in rotten apples.” William Shakespeare.
We choose again, and make our choice for all our brothers, knowing they are one with us. (ACIM, W-170.13:5)
***
Lesson 53. Review of lessons 11-15. Yesterday. It’s funny how the day can start with the best of intentions and then life just takes over. I had a class to teach, then we had a little Christmas get together, and after that I had to buy some presents and wait for a friend. I can’t quite remember if the review of the lessons got a look in, but I had practised them earlier as well as later. Today. The morning is definitely my best time to practise. It just seems so clear to me how my thoughts create the world I see. Chaos does rule my thinking. I can be relatively peaceful one moment and have a blood curdling thought in the next.
A Course in Miracles tells us that whoever we forgive is given the power to forgive us of our illusions (ACIM, T-29.III.3:12). In other words, it is only through relationship that we become awakened.
There is a spark of light in all of us, which is the Christ. It is impossible to extinguish Christ’s light and, for Christ to be seen, only forgiveness rids the mind of all its darkness and illusions.
The ego - the part of the mind that believes in darkness - refuses to ever look. We know this feeling intimately. The ego sees everyone as a threat and, when they do express that threat, they become our ‘enemies’. Our thoughts are fuelled by hate.
We can’t deny we believe in a mind that hates, however much we try to suppress it. Equally, we are asked not to deny we have a mind that loves; we all have unlimited access to that love. The Christ mind loves unconditionally and sees only light because there is only light.
It is all about relationship. Life doesn’t end when someone says a bad word but it does begin when we respond with love. A Course in Miracles states that our brother is our saviour. All it wants from us is to be a witness to the ego and that we remain at peace with whatever is happening in our lives.
You cannot wake yourself. Yet you can let yourself be wakened. You can overlook your brother’s dreams. So perfectly can you forgive him his illusions he becomes your savior from your dreams. (ACIM, T-29.III.3:2-5)
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54/ Life Is Life
18th December 2024
“There is a light which cannot ever be extinguished. It is inside of you… it is you.” Neale Donald Walsh.
The Atonement can only be accepted within you by releasing the inner light. (ACIM, T-2.III.1:1)
***
Lesson 54. Review of lessons 16-20. Yesterday. We came up to London for a short stay. My wife had gone for an appointment and I was trying to find the place where we were staying. Because I was struggling, the voice of the ego was ramping up with all its scenarios and predictions. I began repeating the first lesson on my list - “my meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world” - until I found the house and relief set in. Today. The first lesson in the review - I have no neutral thoughts - tells me that all thoughts have power. This is very clear. On numerous occasions I have experienced the effects of my thinking, both the good and the bad.
There is a place in you where this whole world has been forgotten; where no memory of sin and of illusion lingers still. There is a place in you which time has left, and echoes of eternity are heard. (ACIM, T-29.V.1:1-2)
What is a still mind? A Course in Miracles tells us that the Self (what we are) is always at peace even though our minds are in conflict.
Peace is only found ‘within’ and not ‘without’. Without, by definition, means that something has gone missing. The Workbook is the missing link, in the sense that it shows us how the external world arises as a result of what’s within the mind.
We can’t simply deny the external world but we can change how we see it. We can make it into the real world where God’s Love is always present. The world then becomes glittering and light, instead of dark and hopeless (which clearly reflects our own inner state of guilt and despair).
Nothing dies in the real world because there is only life. Life just extends through love and this is always according to God’s law. Every one of us, as separate beings who believe we have to fight for our rights, fulfil our purpose just by realising this.
A Course in Miracles teaches us the art of forgiveness in order that we can find the real world. It exists within the dream. Outside of the dream, life is just life. There is no opposite because all is One.
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55/ Back to Basics
19th December 2024
“Since the past is unreal and the future is unreal, all your thoughts are about nothing.” Byron Katie.
How beautiful indeed are the Thoughts of God who live in His light! Your worth is beyond perception because it is beyond doubt. (ACIM, T-3.V.10:6-7)
***
Lesson 55. Review of lessons 21-25. Yesterday. I went to the astronomy photographer of the year in Greenwich, as well a celebration of readings and carols at St Bartholomew’s Church in Farringdon in the evening. In both, I experienced judgement; the first related to degrees of appreciation and the second related to ritual and dogma. I endeavoured to practise the lessons as diligently as I could. Today. The first lesson of the review tells us that we do not know who we are; in the Text, I have just been reading about idols. An idol is any thought that disguises our Identity as the Son of God, meaning that either I am or I am not at all.
A Course in Miracles tells us this: There is no death because the living share the function their Creator gave to them. Life’s function cannot be to die. It must be life’s extension, that it be as one forever and forever, without end. (ACIM, T-29.VI.4:9-11)
What we give out is what we get back. There are no half measures in this. It is always all or nothing.
Pain, hate and fear arise out of the ego’s thought system (even if it is disguised as love). This is always guaranteed. Love, peace and joy arise out of the Holy Spirit’s thought system (which is purely love). This is also assured, and it can only be one thought system or the other.
The near-death experience therefore takes us back to basics. It proves that love, peace and joy are what the mind is constructed of. Light is our Source and the light is always in the mind
It is the split mind that holds the darkness. Near-death experiences are the simple proof that darkness is always self-made.
David Bennett’s near-death experience took him from disaster to safety, and then from expansion back to constriction. He became one with all the fragments of light before returning to his body. In the end, it was clear that God’s Love is unconditional and our task is to show gratitude to that Love.
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56/ Truth over Illusion
20th December 2024
“Happiness does not consist in having what you want, but in wanting what you have.” Confucius.
The belief that you must have the impossible in order to be happy is totally at variance with the principle of creation. (ACIM, T-9.I.11:3)
***
Lesson 56. Review of lessons 26-30. Yesterday. Clearly judgement was rife when I went to the dentist and I was told it would cost more than expected; clearly judgement was at the front of my mind when deciding whether or not to give change to a homeless man; and clearly my mind was full of judgement when out for a meal and I saw the bill. I pay the price of the ego every time I judge. Today. As I read through the five lessons that are reviewed today, there is no doubt that my real currency is with me at this very moment. Everything else is just a total fabrication. I make it up as I go along but I can’t make up truth which is with me always.
Seek not outside yourself. For it will fail, and you will weep each time an idol falls. Heaven cannot be found where it is not, and there can be no peace excepting there. (ACIM, T-29.VII.1:1-3)
Helen Schucman, the scribe of A Course in Miracles, never practised the principles of ACIM during her lifetime; Bill Thetford, her co-scribe, did, and this meant that he became awakened before his passing while Helen did not.
It is no coincidence that the Voice of A Course in Miracles chose the most ego-driven city on earth, and the most ego-ridden workplace in that city, to bring through Its message. New York City is big and brash, while Columbia State University is an academic setting in which the ego thrives.
It is also highly pertinent that the words came through in a way that the receiver could understand. Helen Schucman was both an atheist and a PhD. She had a love of Shakespeare which was one of the main reasons why large portions of A Course in Miracles take the form of Shakespearian blank verse. She needed to trust what was being said as well as have her mind ready and open for change.
And the Voice of A Course in Miracles arose out of the Holy Spirit. Helen Schucman called it Jesus but the form of the Voice does not matter. What is important is the message that has been delivered.
The fact is, truth overcomes illusion, no matter what. It doesn’t matter where or how or why. Anything to do with the ego is painful and that pain has to be erased before peace can be allowed.
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